I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize