Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
