dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
