Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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