I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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