I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
