a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize