I've blown a few things in my day
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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