My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
