i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
