I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
