We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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