i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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