im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
