I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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