It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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