my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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