My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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