the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
