i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
