okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
