can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
