i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
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Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
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It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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