They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
