is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
