So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
420 ftw
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
