whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
