Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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