hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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