Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
