Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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