Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
