Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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