yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry about my life...
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