a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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