Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
