Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's the barista slut.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
