Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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