Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize