I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
