STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
