I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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