Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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