should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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