maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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