i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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