But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
