and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
