why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
