Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
