Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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