We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
