I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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