Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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