I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
