Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize