Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
