It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
