chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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