So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
