i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
