she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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