Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize