I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
