real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
do herpes really smell.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
