If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
