No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize