So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
