Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
